Ugh … Girls …
I know every guy is going to look at that title and go “Ya got that right!” But immortal talking about those kinds of girls. Im talking about the two year old kind.
Although I guess when I stop to think … they are very similar. Which leads me to believe that some girls, if not all, are actually BORN bitchy or dramatic. Mine was born both.
When she gets older im screwed. I may as well send her off to bootcamp now to save myself some hassle when she turns into a teenager. Cause its not gonna be pretty. If she doesn’t wanna do.something it takes threats or bribes to get it done. And a out twenty minutes or more of wasted time. She puts down a toy and walks away … ten minutes later she’ll realize another kid picked it up … instantly she throws herself on the floor whining that its hers. Really?!
Its no secret im also a bitch. I also like to get my way and I’ve been known to do some pouting if I don’t get what I want. But when I had my daughter I made a conscious mental decision that she would be different. That she would be the breaker of all the habits I don’t like etc.
She wouldn’t be a bitch. She wouldn’t be selfish or violent. She would be shielded from alcohol and the alcoholic tendencies of my family. She wouldn’t be a pack rat. She would be neat and orderly. She will not procrastinate. She would be the one to change the long string of family habits that drive me crazy in myself.
So far … I think im failing in this task. Mostly because I can never find the motivation within myself to make those changes. I can tell her the correct things all I want. Till im blue in the face. But if I can’t SHOW HER the right things … well then my words wont have a great affect. Somehow I have to start with me.
"I’m warning you, if you take one step closer, I’m never letting you go."
I’ll never look at cheese the same again …
Today my daughter was pretty decent. And by pretty decent I mean she was a total effing monster with me but a pretty good listener while we were out with my mother. And she was very helpful in setting up the new tank for her new fish, Dorothy. Yes I set up a whole new tank (well not new, old but newly cleaned and filled) for one single fish. Why? Well cause three out of the four fish in the other tank are on the larger side … and Dorothy is quite small. About a third the size of said larger fish. And the said larger fish, killed and ate all the other smaller fish in the tank minus one. Sooooo … since Alice bothered to actually NAME this one Dorothy, AND kissed it hello (through the bag), and carted it around calling it her best friend, I clearly didn’t want it to be eaten during its first night home. And I already had a tank and filter, so really, why not? So Dorothy has her own home. And Alice was very good at helping set it up etc.
Nothing to do with Cheese I know.
While waiting for Dorothys water in her bag to adjust to the temperature of the tank, it was snack/movie/quiet time for Alice. Cause After we let Dorothy out of the bag and into her new home, it was bedtime. So Alice asked for grapes and Mickey cheese. Which I gave her. Then I went back into the kitchen to straighten up a little while she watched Curious George.
“Mommy I have something in my nose.”
“Well boogers are in your nose, pick it out and wipe it on a tissue.”
“It’s not a booger!”
“Well if it’s not a booger than what is it? There should only be boogers in your nose”
“Cheeeeeeeeeeeesssseee ..” She looked at me (cause I was now standing in the doorway having this conversation with her) totally exasperated as if I should have KNOWN that there was cheese shoved into her nose instead of a booger.
“For crying out loud Alice! YOU ARE NOT SUPPOSED TO PUT THINGS IN YOUR NOSE!! ONLY YOUR FINGER AND TISSUE GO UP THERE!” I’m trying my best to be very stern and not to yell. But after the incident with the sand pebble in her ear at the museum, I thought she would get it. Clearly telling her not to stick things in her EAR after the pebble incident, does not extend to sticking things up your nose.
So, I wiped off what I could, then wound the tissue into a small tool to spin around the inside of her nose, stuck it up there, spun it, and pulled it out covered in orange cheese. YUM. Five minutes later there were still cheese particles to be seen in her nasal cavity. Cheese is like my favorite thing ever. I won’t be able to eat it for at least two days.
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You must give up the life you had planned in order to have the life that is waiting for you.
— Ezra Fitz
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